I’ve spent the past 2 months working on an incredible show called Bent. The cast has given stellar performances and the production staff has shone. No one has been more brilliant than our director who concieved a wonderfully terrifying concept to display the realism behind each character and scene. If you’re unaware, the play is about the Nazi treatment of homosexuals prior (and leading up to) the second world war.
I’ve spent most of my time as an actor playing in comedies. The last two plays I’ve had the pleasure of working in have opened my eyes to something new. I’ve been able to find great depth in my characters which has pulled a whole new way of acting and thinking out of me.
This process has been tough. How do you feel what your character is supposed to feel? Nazi oppression? You can’t. Somehow I was able to delve into Rudy and it took me to places I don’t want to have to go again. Each time I went to those places within myself it become harder to come back out, partially because I was learning something new and oddly exciting and because it was so mentally draining. I hit a turning point in the process when a couple co-workers expressed some worry that I wasn’t acting like myself. It was at that point that I realized this role was consuming me. “Don’t pull a Heath Ledger on us” they said. Those words, poignant in their own respect, at first seemed ludacris to me. Then I thought a bit about it and though different in a way I was rolling out of control down this mountain of emotions due to this consumption. Then it hit. Control. Once I was able to control these feelings, emotions, dark energies, etc… I was able to become myself again. I’m able to turn the switch on and off a little more smoothly now.
You never stop learning. You can always be better. You must keep control. These are just a few things I took away from this process. Thanks to all involved for making this such a phenomenal team to be part of.
Time to grow and move on.
Here’s to my next great endeavor…